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Learning Persuasion
I had a student ask me recently, "Kenrick, how do you keep track of all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a conference call or seminar, you pull out another technique adding to the dozens and dozens of techniques we've already learned. I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'."
I had a student ask me recently, “Kenrick, how do you keep track of all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a conference call or seminar, you pull out another technique adding to the dozens and dozens of techniques we’ve already learned. I can’t even remember to use the ‘unconscious hello’.”
When you learn a new language, are you fluent in a week?
When you learn a new instrument, can you play Rachmaninoff after a couple of lessons?
Persuasion is just as rich a subject as either of these and more because once you’ve learned a language, you know the language. But persuasion is an ever expanding field of study with amazing breakthroughs happening all the time.
So to put I simply, the best way I know to become a master persuader is to master the basics. And to master the basics, you have to do what people do when they’re trying to learn something: PRACTICE.
’Learning’ has been traditionally broken down into five different categories: imprinting, habituation, associative learning, observational learning and play.
Imprinting is a phase-based learning usually associated with young animals and humans and is the process by which babies learn from their parents. This, obviously, has no use for us in learning persuasion, but for the fact that the brain state which is achieved by use of the light and sound machines closely resembles the brain state of the very young.
Habitual learning is a response to stimulus. If the stimulus is neither rewarding nor harmful, then the response usually diminishes over time. This learning is associated with the other than conscious or subconscious mind.
In persuasion the two types of learning that we most often utilize are observational learning and play. With observational learning, we observe and repeat. Observe and repeat. It’s that simple. So when my student asks about the ‘unconscious hello’, I say, observe and repeat.
The last type of learning, play, is possibly the most enjoyable. At the end of each of my conference calls I assign home play. I love the concept of play and playfulness. It can enhance our experience not only of persuasion, but of life. Too often as we grow up and forget the benefits of play.
We’re all successful in our fields. Many of us have high pressure work environments. And yet, I can’t help thinking that part of what we do when we meet for our quarterly meetings is quite playful. Role playing, camaraderie, even the occasional game. Some play is unrestrained and has no outcome, but our play has a clearly defined goal, as does our work.
To my frustrated student, I say, persuasion is playful. It is observation. It is habitual. It is repetition. It is emulation. It is commitment. It is intention. Be persistent. Persuasion comes in time.