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Do You Have A Dominant Partner?
In the real world today, as I see it, there are two different types of relationships. The first of course is the one most would recognize and think they have. The second one not only is the oldest but most frowned upon by todays social standards.
In the real world today, as I see it, there are two different types of relationships. The first of course is the one most would recognize and think they have. The second one not only is the oldest but most frowned upon by todays social standards.
Most commonly recognized and socially accepted today is the relationship where both partners share equally in the responsibilities of the relationship. This ‘vanilla’ type relationship most likely will have both patners working jobs outside the home and sharing in all of the day to day decisions that affect the union. It is even possible only one works outside the home while the other is a stay at home parent.
The second type of relationship, commonly referred to as a ‘traditional lifestyle” or a “D/s” relationship is the oldest type of relationship in history. In this type of relationship each partner has specific responsibilites and roles and one of the partners has much more control over the day to day decisions than the other. There aren’t any set rules about whether the dominant partner is the male of female partner. It is more likely but not necessary of course, that one of the partners in this type of relationship would be a stay at home parent, if the relationship includes children.
Social conditioning has taught us to believe that ‘vanilla’ relationships are better for everyone involved. There are however hundreds of thousands if not millions of people that would strongly argue that a “D/s” relationship is more likely to stand the test of time. I am a submissive woman and have lived a traditional lifestyle with my husband of many years. I don’t just believe but I know the relationship we share is as strong if not stronger than any relationship of fifty years. Most of my friends found it disturbing in the beginning when they first learned of our lifestyle. In time and after seeing our relationship for what it really is they have all admitted their preconceptions were wrong and in many cases have admitted that they wish for a relationship as strong as ours.
If you give it some thought, you might realize that up until the mid 20th century, traditional lifestyles were the norm. Children were taught the meaning of honesty and respect, divorce rates were much lower than today. Even religion was considered a central part of the families core values. Consider biblical times. Men and women had very distinctive and seperate roles in their relationships. The women wer usually relegated to a subordinated position within the relationship but relationships were stronger, more secure and happier than today’s relationships. Makes you wonder if we have made things better or worse for the core family.
Today in contrast to the past, it is expected of partners to share equally in the roles of hunter gatherer, cook, maid, child rearer etc. Given the state of the world today, highest crimes rates in all history, an almost complete disregard for teaching children the values of respecting others and honesty, I must question if society has helped or hindered relationships as a whole. I’m sure many will read this and think I’m completely nuts, but it is my opinion.
I think the funniest thing about today’s relationships is that many if not most relationships mirror the traditional lifestyle and there is an unspoken seperation of roles and responsibilities. These people that live in these relationships are afraid I believe, and possibly almost embarassed to admit how comfortable they are living in a semi-traditional lifestyle. It is so much easier to put on a false face for the outsiders to avoid being criticized for their lifestyle choice. It takes strong people with strong convictions to accept a traditional lifestyle and make it work. If more people would accept the obvious advantages to it I think the world could become a better place. But again, that’s just my humble opinion.
Consider the following and then ask yourself; “could I be one of those living in the closet”? You might find that some of the qualities I’ve listed below apply to you or your partner and if that is the case, maybe you will pause the next time you feel it necessary to be critical of how others choose to live.
1. A Dominant is one who has the understanding that he or she is not perfect (sorry guys, even you)
2. Dominant partners have taken the time to identify and accept their flaws as a human being. They have come to terms with these flaws and figured out how to best control them effectively.
3. Dominant partners realize that the proof of their dominance doesn’t come from the person who might call them the boss, but from within themselves. This is proven out to them by way of their personalities, ethics, standards and values.
4. A dominant partner accepts that they have the responsibility to themselves to inform as well as possible all things regarding the wide range of issues that come with living a traditional lifestyle. They always take the time to consider their own needs as well as the needs of their partners and they are capable of clearly expressing those needs to their submissive partner.
5. Life experience have taught them the importance of trust and respect in any relationship, and they recognize that their partner can only submit to a partner with the type character that makes them worthy of trust and respect.
6. A dominant partner always understand that before they can expect a submissive partner to give over control of their lives that the dominant partner must have total control over their own lives first.
7. A dominant partner understands that integrity, honesty, fairness, character and consistency are concepts that must be apparent throughout the dominant’s life. These are not just words that can be used selectively for one’s advantage but these are words that represent the character of the person themselves as the dominant partner.
If you recognize any of these personality traits in yourself or your partner, then you may be living a traditional lifestyle without realizing it. If not, you may find that you have the ingrediants to build your relationship into something to be envied by all. Consider this the next time you hear someone say, “We live a traditional lifestyle”. It will make you a better person for thinking before criticizing.