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Anything and everything you want in life is attainable by using that thing between your ears, your mind.
When I was younger, I remember being afraid of going on roller coasters and other big carnival rides. I was terrified of dogs until I turned thirteen when we got a puppy.
I used to worry like crazy on family trips when the gas tank was close to empty. I would stare at the gas gauge from the back seat keeping an eye on it for my Dad. He would continually hear from me, “Dad are we going to stop and get some gas soon?”.
I remember having a hard time being away from home when I stayed at a friend’s house. It would take me forever to fall asleep.
As a child, I had fears and worries of scary things, being alone or getting stuck on the highway. As I got older and became a teenage, my worries focused more on what others thought of me.
In grade eight, I became more self-conscious of the types of clothes I wore. I spent more time combing my hair than ever before. I started to get zits, which increased my awareness of what I looked like. It is funny looking back because I was completely okay with putting cover-up on my face. I used it almost daily. Throughout my high school years, I was on various medications to fight my acne challenges. My self-esteem was very low at this time in my life.
The more I became self-conscious of what I thought people were thinking and saying about me, the more nervous and uncomfortable I became.
I did manage to rid myself of ache by grade twelve. My doctor finally found a medication that literally cleared up everything. Where was this drug when I had big craters on my nose in grade nine and ten?
Ultimately, my days in high school prepared me for who I am today. As I grew older, I became more and more aware that my thoughts and attitudes had a direct impact on how confident I was. I began to realize I was the only one who had control of the thoughts in my head.
There were a variety of people in my life and experiences I had that showed me that I could use my mind to focus on anything I wanted to achieve in life. This realization made me realize that I was in control of strengthening my self-esteem, confidence and attitude.
My high school basketball coach was one individual who opened my eyes to this realization. It was based on something he would say to our team at our practices.
“80% of the game is between your ears”, is what he would say. He would say it at the beginning of practice as he would walk around the center of the gym where the entire team was standing in a circle, stretching.
“80% of the game is between your ears”, he would repeat out loud. The snickers and rolling eyes from some of the players (myself included) could be seen by those in the stretching circle. This phrase meant nothing to us at that age. We all wanted to finish stretching and start practice so we could play basketball.
In my mind, our ears and anything between them had nothing to do with playing basketball. The game had to do with being in top physical shape. The main skills needed to play basketball are dribbling, passing and shooting.
What was interesting was what happened to me before most of the games we played. I had butterflies in my stomach the size of a 747. I had a hard time keeping my nerves down before games, which affected my playing. I spent more time worrying about making a mistake then focusing on playing my best. Guess what happened? I made a lot of mistakes. My mind concentrated on things such as what people would think of me if I messed up. I felt like every mistake would be seen by everyone and it would be never forgotten. It would be recorded in their minds and referred back to for years to come.
I think back to what was going on in my mind when I was in high school and it seems so silly to me. Why would I put myself through this? I was a smart, athletic and a confident person. I didn’t need to buy into all those negative thoughts.
Throughout high school and into university, I had struggled with confidence in myself. I had all these thoughts in my head of what people thought of me. The majority of them were negative and untrue. Whenever I made a mistake, that mistake replayed over and over in my head until I was convinced everyone was laughing at me or they were constantly talking about me.
One day while I was doing some writing in my dorm room, I had a moment of clarity. I finally clued into what “80% of the game is between your ears” meant. I think it took me so long because this phrase in high school was a silly thing my coach said to us at basketball practice. I never consciously thought of what it actually meant.
My perspective of this phrase came full circle and I realized how this simple phrase was applicable to so many aspects of my life outside of basketball. I realized that my worries back in high school of making a mistake were directly related to the mental side of the game. Our coach gave us the insight into this; however, we didn’t receive additional tools on how to strengthen our skills in this area.
This moment of clarity helped open my mind to the fact that these thoughts in my head were in my control. Basketball wasn’t the only thing that involved that thing between my ears; life in general did as well. I began to learn more about strengthening my mind to control the negative thoughts that were interfering with my ability to have self-confidence and a strong belief in myself.
Today, I believe that 100% of what we want to achieve in life is attainable by using that thing between our ears, our mind.
The media, our co-workers, friends, family etc. can put pressure on people to believe they are not smart enough, not cool enough or even not good looking enough. This can put thoughts in our heads that we can’t achieve certain things that we want in life.
You may have experienced or are still experiencing negative thoughts, low self-esteem, low self-confidence and/or self-doubt.
You can achieve whatever it is you want in life. You can be confident and remain confident. You can believe in yourself all the time. And, you don’t need to worry about what others think of you. It may take some time, but you can strengthen that thing between your ears to the point where your mind is clear and focused on what you want in life.
Based on your own life, think about what you would replace “the game” in the phrase, “100% of ___________ is Between My Ears”.