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Building Self-esteem, Even If You've Never Had It
There is nothing better for self-esteem than building self-esteem. As strange as that sounds, it is that simple.
There is nothing better for self-esteem than building self-esteem. As strange as that sounds, it is that simple.
A lot of people think that one has to be either born with self-esteem, or maybe was popular in high-school and held onto that for the rest of their lives, always succeeding at whatever due to public support. The truth is, nothing could be further from the truth.
Usually, it is the opposite of what we think the dynamics are of self-esteem. The gorgeous blonde in elementary school with the long pony tail, who maybe relied totally on looks for self-esteem grows up, has a few kids, gains weight, hair falls out and the rest turns gray from dealing with the hyper children and maybe a workaholic husband and she sits at home now and watches soap operas and drinks a bit too much, remembering the good old days when life was simpler.
It doesn’t necessarily help to be raised in a family that is considered highly-esteemed in their community. Though this can be a positive, it can also be a negative. Often the child rebels as a teen or even before that. And even more often than not, never grows out of it, finding him or herself estranged from the rest of the family well into adulthood.
So, once again, self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem has diminished for whatever reason. My point is, it can be learned for the first time, or be established maybe for the first time in a whole new lifestyle. We have the right to reinvent ourselves.
Were you the star-wrestler in high school with rippling muscles and worked out regularly and was applauded every time flexed? Did you make good grades and were used to positive feedback? Maybe this enhanced yoru esteem early in life. But now life is different. Perhaps you have a big money-making business that does not interest you and you want to sell it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her girlfriends. Look around now. Did the self-esteem go down?
The simple fact is, that in adulthood, we have to create our own self-esteem. We do not necessarily receive all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. We can’t do it in a day, and there is no one path in which to build it.
Even on a depressing day, drive yourself to a soup kitchen and volunteer. Visit a shut-in; run an errand for someone wheelchair-bound. Tutor a childwith his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Maybe it’s physics. The universe works in this fashion. We can fight it or join it.
The battle with low-self esteem can last a lifetime. Some never win. If one tries just a little, they usually do win. One day, not long ago, I looked up and I was turning fifty and had a major heart attack so I was becominging more aware of my mortality. Me? A major coronary? That was what other people had, not me. My ego loves me to think I’m so unique. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus’ book in ‘What About Bob?’, baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. I volunteer to help the elderly and shut-ins learn the Internet and a few have even enrolled in universities in their 60’s and 70’s.
It is an interesting experience, to experience higher self-esteem, especially when one never had it. I fall into that category. I take it slow and easy. I enjoy the learning process. It has nothing to do with money or fame. It has to do with knowing me, and, finally, learning to like me, and maybe even love me, so I can love others.
If we’ve passed the age of forty, we’ve endured some of life’s tough knocks. It has humbled us to a certain degree, hopefully. I just take a little time out of each day and do something to build my self-esteem. I may do a lot of other things incorrectly, but I try to learn to do them right, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone, just for the sake of doing it.
I’m a slow learner, but in ten years, I’ve accomplished a thousand times more than I did in my first forty-three years.
Londons Times Cartoons was my first stab at building self-esteem. It helps other people people laugh, hence help build their own self-esteem which is contagious. I get emails often and that helps my own self-esteem. In addition to my main cartoo site I own stores like LTSuperstore, RickLondonCollection, Justfunnygreetingcards,Justfunnycoffeemugs, Justfunnyaprons, Mirthgirthbirth, RickLondonwear, Justfunnymousepads, Justfunnyhoodies, etc. Business is brisk. People love to laugh and build their self-esteems, or give gifts to others to help build theirs. I am a very grateful person and a lucky one too.
Being around humor makes us feel “lighter”. It is human nature to want to laugh. We should laugh. Laughter, like crying, are both very important releases. And they both put us in touch with our feelings. And our feelings put us in touch with who we are. And when we know who we are, we have our self-esteem.
It won’t happen overnight, I can almost guarantee you. But it will happen if you put forth just a little effort. Remember Bill Murray, once again, in ‘What About Bob’. Baby Steps. And each of those baby steps will build you into the person you always wanted to be, and more.