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Softening Language
I'm curious. . .
I’m curious. . .
Just so that I am understanding you completely. . .
Absolutely. Fantastic. And just so that I’m perfectly clear and understanding you completely . . .
What am I doing here? Well, it’s like icing on the cake. It’s like polishing the silver. Once we get beyond the basics of rapport and criteria elicitation, we have free reign to be creative and elegant and finished in our expression of our persuasive abilities.
Softening statements and questions are just that. When we elicit criteria, the basic structure is, ‘What’s important about X? What’s important about Y? And ultimately, what’s important about Z?’
I recommend being comfortable with the basic structure of criteria elicitation and then moving on to the softening statements. No sense confusing the process. However, once you feel an ease with your ability, adding these phrases becomes natural and adds to the persuasion by soothing and comforting your prospects.
’So, I’m just curious, tell me, what’s important to you about finding a new advisor?’
‘I’m just not feeling comfortable with my current person and I’m looking for a change,’ says our prospect.
’Excellent. Really good. That makes perfect sense. And so that I’m understanding you completely, what’s important about feeling comfortable with your financial advisor?’
’Well, I just really want to feel solid in knowing that I am being taken care of with my best interests being looked after. I am not finding that to be the case right now.’
’I completely understand. And so I’m perfectly clear, ultimately, when you find this safe and secure feeling of being taken care of, what will that mean to you?’
’It will mean I don’t have to worry about my family or our financial future.’
Using softening statements when we talk with our prospects, puts them at ease by showing them we truly understand, empathize and comply with what they need and desire.
Like playing a musical instrument, persuasion can either be taken directly off the page as written, but its power is best utilized when we get the basics down and then do a little improvisation. Obviously, without the basics, we get a lot of nonsense, but when we combine a solid foundation with these flourishes, it can be a beautiful symphony.