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What Takes Courage?
Pride, fear, or for whatever reason, many of us simply do not like to ask for help. This has to change if we are to make it, especially if we are to lead a team. Showing vulnerability is actually an attractive quality.
Copyright (c) 2007 Karen Kay
Think quickly of a particularly courageous person you know. What is it about them that exudes courage? Is this a new characteristic in them or have they always seemed this way to you?
A couple of weeks ago, I took on a challenge: I decided that my team would adopt a few contestants in the race for the “Next Internet Millionaire” contest. I found some participants who seemed to have a positive message, then posted in the forum offering to promote them. The response was phenomenal and for the next 5 days, I did everything I could to build them up. I sent emails to my lists and blogs encouraging votes. I set up Squidoo pages for each of them. I even ran a small Google adwords campaign offering free advertisements to my list for those who would send positive comments.
What was interesting in this process was the fact that most of the contestants who wanted my help were not the ones I originally chose. Other participants asked me to add them in, make room for another one, or otherwise gave me good reasons why they were worthy of my help, and for the most part, I agreed. Why did I do this? The answer is simple: because I admired their courage in asking. I could have spent a lot less time overall on the project if I had only promoted the original favorites who responded. Instead, I took on most of those who asked because I felt the act of asking in and of itself showed their strength as a leader...and leaders like to work with other leaders!
Think now of the person or people you thought of at the beginning of this article. Have they ever asked for your help? How do you feel generally when someone asks for your help? For me it is validating. Someone thinks enough of me that my actions will somehow improve their situation. I know for sure that at least some of those who asked did not in any way, shape, or form need my help. They were extending a hand to me as a way of validating me, lifting me up. They were being a leader.
Asking for help is not an easy thing for many of us to do. I know I struggle with it all the time. Pride, fear, or for whatever reason, many of us simply do not like to ask for help. This has to change if we are to make it, especially if we are to lead a team. Showing vulnerability is actually an attractive quality. Why is that? Because people are innately, I believe, born to give. Helpful women, problem-solving men, all want to give. Ask someone for help; give them something of value in return, and you are well on your way to fostering a nice relationship. The leader in you is borne.